I‘m seated in a luxury jewelry store, the pieces of fine jewelry sit with me in tranquility waiting patiently for an owner. The stones sparkle, each setting off vibrant dazzles from the unnatural light that unknowingly lures in its prey. I’ve always taken my liking to fine jewelry over its cosmetic counterparts. But today, I have no interest. I sit here like a child that has been scolded and will be coaxed into whatever the parent chooses fit.
When did it come to this? When did I lose interest in all the things I loved? I was a different person then and now I feel alienated in my own body.
The sophisticated sales agent places a bottle of sparkling water in front of me. This is the difference in service you receive here as opposed to shopping in a mediocre boutique. You get unmatched service, they make you feel extra special but somehow it’s not working today. Today this luxury brand is nothing but metal with a stamp on it. I watch the bubbles clustered together as they float to the top of my glass, they pair nicely with the diamonds secured in place beneath the glass showcase. I feel quite the same, trapped, like a bird in a cage with no hope of escape.
I watch the passersby, a couple arm in arm are window shopping. I watch their faces and wonder if they too are hiding behind some veil. Today I would rather be on that side of this scene, merely desiring an ornament lavishly displayed in the window.
I was brought here and ushered into this shop that I adored, but now, I feel sickly looking at these items of bribery. One of them will go home with me today and any other woman would be ecstatic to receive such an extravagant gift, but me? I’m far from overjoyed. I feel helpless, waiting patiently to go back to whatever it was that robbed me of myself.
The piece of jewelry I’ll take home today will remind me how I don’t love the man who brought me here. I’ll have no choice but to accept it. It will, however, become evidence that I indeed accepted this gesture of endearment. It will remind me this piece was a trade for love, a love that doesn’t exist. What he fails to understand is he cannot buy my love or my happiness. He cannot buy my feelings and my heart, he also cannot buy back the pain that he has caused. It will become evidence that he supposedly tried to make this relation work.
Nothing can make this crown jewel sparkle again, she has lost her shine and her zest for life and for love, he took her for granted and he failed over again to see her real worth.