A friend once sent me a life quote. I hung on to it because it stirred something inside of me, and now and again I find the need to read it, resonate with it, and put it into practice. At first, I was offended by it. I was told to let things go, move on, and forget. I am an over-thinker, and I had fought this very advice. It takes time to deal with the inevitable, for the motions to sink in, and can you ever let it go?
This quote was the simplest way I could be taught something so profound. The quote tells me to live my life, everything comes to go;
‘Your breath, your thoughts, words, feelings, phases, even seasons, they all come to go. Then why hold on so tightly to guilt, sorrow, and anger, when it too has come, just let it go.’
I cannot control what other people do, say, or even feel. If they bother me, then I still haven’t let go. I need to let go of what isn’t serving me a purpose. Live my life without the distraction of others. But how do you forget something that was a part of you? Be it good or bad, it left marks, and so it remains.
Letting go means I’m ok with the aftermath they left. How can you let go of something that changed you? Forgiveness is me telling them it’s ok that they damaged me, and it’s not ok. I need more time to come to that level of acceptance. You can reason with it, and you can change how you react to it, but you can’t make it disappear as though it never happened. In the beginning, I would fight it. When put into practice, it created an unjust environment for me, because I was already hurt; how can I let it go?
We can learn many lessons from scenarios that one should let go of. Vexed questions, problematic relationships, unresolved discussions, and the resentment that was fueled by those controversial decisions. In the end, what you gain is some understanding. You familiarize yourself with your own self-consciousness, and what we gain is some meaningful episode that eventually changes us; it changes our thinking. You finally learn to live without.
Eventually, we learn to let go of treasures too, ones we held dearly to our hearts. Lost loves and loved ones, we had no choice but to detach from them. Those who left for another world, with time, we learn that letting them go was a part of life. My father would tell me to practice detachment. The key is to detach yourself, not let someone affect you so much that surviving without them becomes punishment.
Letting go isn’t to forget, or not to think about, or ignore, even. It shouldn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t winning or losing. It’s not about pride and how you appear, and it’s not obsessing and dwelling over the past. Letting go isn’t about blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts; it shouldn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not giving in or giving up. It’s not about loss and defeat.
Letting go is accepting what is. Overcome and move on. It’s about having an open mind and confidence to walk into the future. It’s to be thankful for the experiences and the growth. To appreciate the experiences that made you laugh and cry and made you resilient. It’s all that you have and that you had and all that you will have. Letting go is the courage to accept change and to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It’s realizing that the love in one’s heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. A conundrum, as difficult as it can be, as to forgive. To let go is to open a door, to clear a path, and to set yourself free, because everything in life comes to go.
