There will be times in your life when you will float on cloud nine and times you will barely be alive. There will be times when you realize that surviving on your own terms is better than living an unhappy life on someone else’s terms. Some of us are afraid of being alone, some are afraid that we may end up alone. Yet when we die we leave alone and when we come into this world we also come alone. Spending time alone makes one more vulnerable to overthinking. We become susceptible to isolation and depression sets in, or so that is the perception. We have to learn to manage our thoughts. We weren’t made to be isolated and yet ironically, isolation means you get peace. But were we meant to be bonded with another individual for life?
Is having a life companion just a matter of the mind, a comfort that we believe is a need? Is it a ritual society pushed into our minds? Does the need of another person really complete you as an individual or does it make you weak? Do two people create a stronger bond or do you lose your individuality? Is two really better than one?
Two people, if together, should create a bond stronger than what the eye sees. For some time, I suppose we do. Then life happens, time passes, years go by and we change. These circumstances bring different outcomes. We begin to drift apart, other things become important, it’s all too inevitable.
We forget that two people together should also be individuals. They should have an identity completely of their own. We begin to morph into each other and that results in distaste. We should be allowed to grow and change as a unit. We stunt the very growth that needs to happen because we become selfish. We begin to take for granted the very thing that was once treasured.
A strong bond equals compromises and loyalty and an unselfish mind. Yet are we completely honest with what we hide in our minds and are our thoughts always aligned? It’s this false sense of accountability we have no control over; what is it that really goes on in another’s mind? We don’t reveal everything do we? Over time we grow, growth brings change, and so if you begin to grow at different levels, your paths will most certainly be unaligned.
Alone time is necessary, it’s medicine for the mind. Recharging and realigning your life, sieving through the things that actually matter to you as an individual. Spending time alone helps you work through yourself, helps you bring out the issues that stunt you. Alone time helps you clear a fogged memory bank and cleanse your persona. You begin to dissect thoughts and the reasons behind your actions, you will begin to compartmentalize your life. Being alone makes you understand that you alone can be enough. It doesn’t mean you have failed in a relationship, it means you became stronger as an individual.
I’m sure there is a match out there for everyone, a so-called ‘soulmate’ but even the word ‘mate’ translates to friend. Every bond begins as a friendship, a companion that shares mutual affection. If you find that friend, help them help you. Be a union of the hearts and one that not only loves but supports, pushes and encourages your growth. One that gives and takes equally, but most importantly one that gives you space to be a better person for you both.