I throw my handbag on to the passenger seat as I sink into mine. I slowly release the keys into the cup holder. I take a few deep breaths as I rest my hands on the steering wheel. I turn the visor down, even though the view is pleasant enough ahead, my eyes want to close. My limbs release into the leather seat that has molded to my figure. What is it about sitting in your car seat? It makes your recent outing seem like you need a moment from some battle you fought out there. It makes coming home a relief.
As I make myself comfortable for the ride I realize it’s the same comfort your first cup of coffee brings in the morning, that blanketed welcome that allows your body to melt into your space. It aligns your mind for preparedness as the adventure begins.
I reach forward, turning the dial to play music. It’s the only time I can sing my heart out. I found the true meaning of the lyrics in my car, ones I mindlessly had recited for so many years. Here is where I found that I couldn’t live without melody in my life. My discovery that there was a song for every moment and every occasion, how music can calm your disturbed soul, encourage positivity and invigorate your senses. It is rhythm that can play along with the mood of life.
The radio conversations and the daily news that you opt to listen to because you can switch it off when it becomes unbearable. Podcasts, phone conversations, it’s a thoughtless process we all take part in. Yet within this same space I covered those endless conversations, deepest thoughts, tears of laughter and how can I forget when the tears of another kind began to fall on some lengthy journey. I wiped them away and pulled myself together again right in this seat.
It’s in my car I can adjust my body temperature perfectly. It shelters me from the elements and when the breeze passes through the open windows I feel free. I can align my thoughts right here and venture to possible outcomes that seem attainable. It’s this very seat that has molded my externalities and this very enclosure that sets me apart from the rest of the traffic. Even when I’m lost and the maps direct me, I feel safe right here in this seat. I’ve enjoyed some of the most breathtaking views in this moving vehicle. A ride has coaxed me into the deepest slumber, like a baby rocked to sleep as I got chauffeured home. And when the real babies appeared I carried that precious cargo with so much attentiveness. It’s this seat that reminded me that another life was more valuable than my own.
I glance at the rear view mirror and I’m reminded that looking behind is essential even though going forward is important. I find it reassuring that reversing does in fact take more effort than mindlessly driving ahead. Now and again, you should look back at what you left and see how far you have come and all you have achieved. Just like parallel parking we make ourselves fit in someplace, and if we don’t, we move on until we find a place that allows for our space. The struggle is real and eventually we master the unattainable.
The side views instill some value of space, we all share the roads even though the luxuries inside our own box may be different, outside we are no different. Each time someone passes me I’m reminded of the race we are running constantly to keep up, the road is the same, we all eventually go back to what brought us here. As I pass by, I’m aware yet surprised at our tendency to take things for granted and we do it unknowingly. The lanes within which we travel do allow us to stay focused and alert. When our time comes we will eventually drift off on our own.
It doesn’t matter whether you own a luxury vehicle, the ride is the same; we maneuver from A to B and back again. What sets us apart is the distance we travel and the use of our time and what we do with our imagination when isolation sets in.