Birthdays are a commemoration of the beginning of something new, the anniversary of your birth. We celebrate the milestones so happily when we’re young until slowly they morph into just another day that passes by and we aren’t so eager anymore. No doubt, it is very much a privilege to mature. No one wants to admit they know that each year, we in fact, lose a year of our life. We’re one year closer to the inevitable. We take life for granted until we lose someone who didn’t deserve to go. It seems only then, for a short while, we look deeper within. We then begin to contemplate our own life.
Every year, as your birthday arrives, one must exercise a process. One in which you can have an insight into the depth of what made up your existence and see where you’re headed. We all need to backtrack into our lives and pull out our accomplishments, look deeper into our journey, the wisdom we gained and the mistakes that changed us. We all need to study ourselves instead of reading someone else’s book, we should write our own.
The way our life pans out, is really in our own hands. We don’t understand this simple concept until we get older. We have only ourselves to blame for the outcomes. So when you suddenly feel older than you are, look within and figure out why. What’s bringing you down or holding you back from living? Life is a rollercoaster ride, we’re competing with the very time that is on our side. It’s much later in life we actually figure it out, some of us never will. Every stage of our life teaches us what we need to learn, because we refuse to learn it any other way. We have to live it.
There was a time I felt I was closer to the end, more than I wanted to be. That phase in your life where you can’t handle anymore. The burdens become heavier and your limbs frail. You realize you still have a while to go but you simply can’t. Life becomes an endless game and you question and bargain with fate. The truth is most of what I had experienced in life was not even living. Somehow I had discounted my own life and made everyone else’s a priority. I rarely lived in the moment and I don’t think I really knew how to. My existence was just that, existing. I kept myself busy, so busy that I didn’t have time for me. Life just passed by and not for a moment did I stop to inhale the real beauty of it. My younger days were spent worrying about things not in my control. The birds eye view of my lifetime tells me I came full circle and now time is on my side. I stand here looking back at the very person that achieved so much yet lived so little and has so much more to experience. All of a sudden I’m a different person racing with the same time.
It’s the aged that acquired the knowledge and wisdom I seeked when I lived in my youth. Then as if by magic, I found myself right here; older and wiser. Had I gathered all the wisdom back then, I’d be a different person now. These days age really does seem just a number to me. I know my youthfulness has an exuberance now that somewhat intimidates many. I set up boundaries and allow only positive vibes into my space and this zest for living has become a blessing. I cherish my days, I tell myself I deserve this and I settle with it. I used to think my father was selfish, he almost always pleased himself. Today as I drift through midlife, I find the need to be a little selfish myself. I deserve the position I have worked myself into. I savor the simple, finer things. I feel youthful because I love my life, I make time, I laugh a little more, I love waking up and I love falling asleep. I enjoy my work and the ones who allowed me into their lives, I love them too.
So I’m telling you too, to dig a little deeper to those nooks and crannies and pull those strings that need to be cut or restrung. Filter out the unwanted noise. Rearrange your priorities and fulfill your desires. Take a break from the race and really smell the roses. Learn to choose wisely and walk your own path into the future, with an open mind and a longing to explore and experience all that life has to offer. It’s never too late, end your story with the best chapters. Only then does the number become just a number.