It wasn’t until I became a mature moon child that I found the hidden secrets of my sensuality. Had I not left another world, I would never have ventured out on a mission to find myself. I was tantalized by the thought of glimpsing into a vision of me that didn’t previously exist, but could. 

The concoction was made up of ingredients I had disregarded in my past.  Yes, I had briefly scanned such visuals and even read passages that aroused the womaness in me. Yet now, I was brewing an entirely different potion made up of intense spiritual, mental, and physical passion. I began humoring myself. I was looking in the mirror at an entirely different version of this female figurine.

I was skeptical because a woman of my age rarely fits the mold I was having no issues positioning myself into. In this phase, most women become oppressed or despondent.  I, on the other hand, felt I was submerging into some tantric energy.  My body isn’t a perfect masterpiece, but for the first time in my life, I found myself accentuating my curves, becoming desirably sensual, or should I say, I could make myself feel that way.  I maneuvered into sultry seduction, the same way perhaps lust begins. 

I imagined myself craving and wanting to enjoy the art of intimacy. This time, the dynamics were different; I became easily aroused, and for whatever reason, I was hungry for an indecent proposal. I kept telling myself this risqué behavior was obscene and a respectable woman of my age doesn’t allow herself to be lured into indelicate situations. But when one’s mind and body reach a certain age, the need to be fearless overrides the desire to be decent. It is then that you acquire an adequate amount of nerve to pry into an adventure that should have taken place a long time ago. 

I questioned even my loving consumption of aphrodisiacs, and yet they were never forbidden fruits. Perhaps they were now beginning to finally work. I had an appetite for passion, and so I explored.

Being alone gives you the freedom to wander into unknown territory, and for me, it was a subject I hadn’t explored. In my previous life, I was never asked, just shown; I was never the initiator, and so I was never suggestive. I had shied from it and at times settled with the fact that it was something that just had to be done; pleasure was hardly in the equation. I never lead and never demand. Now something had changed, and I had changed. 

It’s the timing in my life that opened up this door of passion. I came from a lineage of women who spoke little on this subject.  My predecessors were ornate decorations, orchestrated but veiled. I’m flamboyant and alluring. Perhaps I’m the first to convey that my physique was meant for more than pleasing, I wanted to be pleased. Physical intimacy became a desirable sport. But this need in me would only be led with some chemistry; something would have to arouse the lioness within to satisfy her hunger. The Sapio in me would have to lead the way to a physical bond, one that gives birth only when two souls connect deeply.

I craved something that had never come easily for me, an unusual awakening of my sexual spirituality, and so I became an unchaste woman of mysterious seduction and much passion.