I check my tiny flyaway hair and neatly secure them beneath my cap. This hallway mirror was a good idea I decided before pressing the already illuminated elevator button for the third time. As if this time it would actually work. I walk towards the window impatiently to check the sky; the weather is behaving today for my morning walk. As I resonate with the morning sky one of the elevator doors open and I rush in.
I let out a sigh of relief because it’s empty. Sometimes I wonder if people actually crave company in an elevator. My sigh doesn’t make it to the end; the elevator stops and I address my agitation. An older gentleman walks in. He looks like he’s dressed for an important meeting. We make eye contact and exchange a ‘good morning’ greeting. This is my queue to take out my phone and do some mindless check in; anything but converse at this hour in the morning. My phone just about makes it out of my pocket when the elevator stops again and I slide towards one corner making room. I haven’t a clue for whom but it seems like a good idea to be prepared.
In walks a familiar face, a middle aged gentleman, a neighbor you could say, he greets me by my name. I, on the other hand, am finding it hard to remember his. He asks me about my journey this early in the morning. A part of me wants to tell him it’s none of his business but my kind nature over rules and I smile and let him in on my secret. I think he likes me, he’s always interested in my whereabouts and because he has chosen to ignore the other human sharing our current limited accommodation. He fumbles with some bags and distracts me again from my phone. ‘How was your new years?’ Even before my words roll on my tongue the elevator stops again.
I’m now questioning why everyone is out today? I tell myself it must be the ‘new year resolution’ traffic. Why is it that the year ends on a certain day and the new one begins the next? For me the new year really begins in spring, when everything that tolerated the dormant winter blooms again. But here we are, busy starting over again because it’s officially a new year!
I move closer to the elderly gentlemen who too seems just as irritated with the constant pauses. I can smell his old world cologne as he glances at his matching old world watch. It’s a masterpiece no doubt, an antique I’m assuming. I wonder where he’s off too. A doctor’s appointment most likely. Where else do old people go this early in the morning anyway?
Another familiar face walks in with her dog. She’s not on my ‘best person’ list. Everyone greets her but she has no expression and I greet the dog instead, she’s escorting him in a dog carriage that has to be adjusted to fit in. We all step this way and that, she on the other hand is giving stern looks. I understand it’s early morning and not everyone is in the mood to be, well peppy, but it wouldn’t hurt to smile. The other two don’t seem to be as interested in her or the animal. I wonder about these dog carriages, are they really necessary? Sometimes I think they’re just attention attracting devices and why are they not made to fit big dogs?
Three of us watch the countdown on the screen and listen in silence while the mean lady scans us as if we’re victims of some crime scene. The beeping as each floor passes brings me hope it will go straight down to G. And as if things couldn’t get more uneasy with the silence the elevator stops again. At this point I’m feeling claustrophobic, I don’t want to budge from my spot. We should all have bubbles around us, so we don’t get too close for comfort. I look around and disregard the thought, none of these individuals would survive in a so-called bubble. A young couple squeezes in. They could have just waited for the next elevator given the crowd we’ve accumulated now. They’re young and dressed for activity, they could have taken the stairs too. I’d take the stairs if I lived on the 10th floor.
A despairing thought crosses my mind and I try to blank it away. We’re only on the ninth floor and what if we get stuck? I definitely wouldn’t survive that accident with this dog carriage and it’s owner. I can feel the multiple outlets of breathing now and it isn’t helping my situation, I’m getting warmer than I need to be. There should be a limit to the number of patrons that enter. I would be okay going back to Covid restrictions at this point of no more than 2, perhaps 3, okay 4 maximum.
My neighbor looks over at me, ‘busy morning hey’ I try to force a smile back. He continues to address me by my name and I’m uncomfortable with the imbalance that everyone now knows my name and I don’t know anyone’s. Luckily for me, the conversation is interrupted by the couple who begin conversing loudly in a foreign language. For a moment I think how rude, although this could be considered a public source of transport so I guess they’re allowed. They haven’t let go of each other’s hand since they entered. I’m now wishing I had someone to hang on to. They must be off to the gym, new years resolution no doubt, which again bothers me as to why they didn’t take the stairs.
Music, that’s what this elevator needs, it would break the uneasy silence and distract me from my thoughts but they get disrupted anyway as the elevator stops abruptly at level 3. I’m assuming the added weight in here gave room for some slight turbulence. The mean lady with the dog gets off and low and behold she gets replaced with a young mother and child. Everyone mumbles a good riddance under their breath and I don’t even want to engage in thought here but what else is there to do?
The little boy looks like he’s late for school and mum seems flustered fumbling through his backpack. I can smell coffee on her and I see the last remnants of sleep in his eyes and the distaste for early morning attendance to school. Nevertheless he manages a shy sleepy smile at me. She probably needed extra coffee today by the looks of it. I’m becoming intoxicated just by the aroma. A few seconds later the stop on the second floor releases three more passengers, I bid farewell to the neighbor, and the cute couple.
Finally I feel the constraint release from my tensed limbs as we hit the ground floor. I make my way out to breathe in the air, feeling as if I just got off a full flight. As I begin my walk I realize that everything I discussed in my head was all just in my head. We don’t consciously realize how much we actually question and answer in our minds. It’s human nature to think, observe, speculate and judge but in reality it is pretty irrelevant to what we actually perceive. Yet we continue to do it without a second thought.
I wave goodbye to the little boy and wish him a good day at school, he smiles back and somehow it makes the five minute long elevator ride all worth the while.