Is it always essential to have someone else define who you are? Should another person be the sole purpose of your life? Is it necessary that you walk beside another individual and have them share every part of your existence? These are my questions, and mine alone.
After years and years I have realized I hadn’t really experienced true love really. That sense of belonging, the love that binds two souls together. The essence from which happiness evolves. I understand it’s important to have love in your life, almost compulsory. Love brings with it joys, a reason for belonging and surviving. Without it your existence almost fades, you become invisible. I’m questioning does such an experience really exist and does it in fact last a lifetime? Or like most things, does it come to an end to make way for something new. Nothing lasts forever so why is this any different? Perhaps it’s because we work harder at this subject than anything else.
We all want things we don’t have and yet for the very thing we can’t have, we are willing to work extra hard for or fight even. Only after some of us spend years trying to single handedly resolve a relationship do we let it die. It isn’t serving a purpose anymore so we give up. There is no happiness, no love. Respect and trust are no longer being provided. At one point I myself believed I had failed. I had failed at coupling and marriage and love. I was so consumed in factual ideas of what society had led me to believe. It wasn’t until I completely let go did I realize that I didn’t need another individual to define the person I am. Yet it was the very thing that was holding me back. That frightening thought of separating myself from another being and stepping into this big wide world alone scared me. Being an independent individual scared me.
I realized I didn’t need acknowledgement from another to live my own life and I was enough just by myself. I didn’t fail, I had won. I was no longer an added instrument to someones band. I needed to detach in order to make it work as a solo player. I didn’t have any other choice but to take this route. I had to make it work. The funny thing is detachment was needed for me to see my potential. At times we are so absorbed with another being that it hinders our own growth. It doesn’t matter what walk of life you come from, this applies to everyone.
You are enough on your own, you don’t need someone to complete you, and definitely not define the beautiful independent individual you are. Liberate yourself and find your spark and only then complete yourself with another being. Loving someone is a beautiful experience but define who you are first.